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| are you on crack? (well, maybe.) you are the world champion of running. maybe not physically running - i mean, let's be honest, that will never happen. but running? come on now. no one is better at getting away from things as fast as humanly possible as you are ... nobody is as fast as you are. end of story. stop trying to cover up your problems by engaging in their physical counterparts. that's just obvious. sophomoric. | | |
| if i didn't value myself so much, my mother would be driving me to suicide. | | |
| eggy bagel sandwiches are sooooo delicious. especially after a fun night of orgasms hehe. i think they might be one of my favourite foods and that might be one of my favourite combinations!! | | |
| why is it that fake boobs look bigger than real boobs of the same or larger size? i have thought and thought and thought about this haha. and the conclusion i have reached is that it is probably due to their extreme roundness; real boobs (at least those i've seen, and i've seen quite a few pairs in my day thank you very much!) are roundish, but not like oranges or grapefruits or melons or what have you. the bigger they get, the more volume tends to be in the bottom of the breast, whereas with fake ones, the volume is distributed fairly evenly. which is probably why smaller fake boobs don't look so fake and bigger ones really do. i was looking at pictures of the "new" heidi montag, and everyone is at arms that her boobs are as big as her head. my boobs are as big as my head. but people aren't outraged because they don't look like somebody punctured my nipples and shoved an air pump and pumped over capacity. my boobs are actually bigger than hers and the rest of me is a comparable size, but hers look huge because they're so fake and overdone (well, that and the fact that i don't really feel the need to shove them up in the faces of everyone around me. well, not yet anyway hehe). i think it's funny people get so upset about other people getting plastic surgery. who the hell cares what other people do to themselves? and i think her boobs don't look bad - they just look fake. any other pair of 700ccs or whatever ridiculous amount they are would look just as fake put into someone who started out with no tits. plain and simple. if you can't have big boobs for real, you can get fake big boobs. most people won't have big real boobs and not be big fatties. plain and simple. there are benefits and disadvantages for each. so to each his own, right? her face though, it a completely different story. i feel bad for someone who has such horrible self-esteem that she has to transform herself into someone who looks 20 years older than she is. i'm not a fan of hers, but i really do hope she gets her act together one day, and sooner than later. that really goes for most of humanity. like the catty bitchy girls next door who pull sophomoric pranks like leaving their gum wrappers on my door mat. they don't really know who they're dealing with! and although it momentarily pisses me off (when i hear them outside "whispering" "oh she put it back in front of our door!") it kind of makes me laugh because i know that these losers are worse than i am in every regard. i don't like to reach for the jealousy justification but maybe that's it. for a few years i thought such behaviour ended by high school but people continually prove me wrong! i feel like a lot of people in our "generation" have been so pushed to go out and get jobs and make money and go to school blah blah that they never actually grew up mentally or emotionally. it's pretty sad. but hey. what goes around comes around. i really believe this is true. you can't act like some idiot and push aside people who aren't in your little clique and think you're hot shit and still manage to keep real friends for years to come. it doesn't happen. it won't happen. this is probably why the majority of these people (at least to my knowledge) are also immature in terms of drinking like they're 18 or something. they have to block off reality and rationality and themselves somehow. i can't imagine not being able to stand yourself. that's sickening to me.
at any rate, i'm only writing this because (if you haven't gathered this already) i am totally in love with my boobs haha. i can't wait for my ivig and to get off so many shitty drugs and get back into a++ shape. i can't. fucking wait.
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| you couldn't get any dumber or associate with people who are any dumber, you prove me w-r-o-n-g! WRONG!
it must be nice to be so small-minded as to have only one main source of motivation in life. it is sad, however, when that motivation happens to be beer.
i cannot imagine spending all of my life living within the small area that comprises the suburbs of a single city. especially considering the nature of those suburbs in stark contrast with that of the city itself. it is human nature at its very best, let me tell you! i guess most of all, i cannot imagine having that settle okay with me. it wouldn't. i can't imagine letting all the chances of a lifetime roll on by because you are so willing not to examine the mind control that has led you to such a position. it's hilarious to see how much better you could be and yet because you have no clue what you even are (and, oh yeah, never will!) you clone yourself to all these idiots who think drinking beer all the time makes them godlike and super attractive, all these brilliant minds who come from one of a handful of schools all in the same area, none of which are even worth the space on land they occupy. it's a little scary to think that a bunch of people from d-list schools whose only goal in life is to keep getting drunk are building our "safe" cars. i am all for buying american, but from what i know of at least some of the american car manufacturers? it's foreign cars for me!
but hey. i need to stop thinking about any and all of this because this is not my lot in life. my lot is not to waste my time and talent and skill and abuse the real opportunities that come my way. here's a shocker. real people really LOVE me. it's a thing that has re-emerged over the course of the last few months, since i have regained my personality and my life. total strangers will come up to me and essentially tell me their life stories. people are at ease around me. i don't have to put on a show that i am this and this kind of person. i never do. i don't have any scary moments when i have a lot of time alone and i can't handle it because i am terrified of being with myself. no. i think a lot of people who are in touch with themselves (which, by the way, i think you're out of luck with this because you're at the bottom rung of being in touch with yourself! even these losers have more self-awareness than you do! which is very sad!) can sense that. animals can sense that. i have never had a cat or a dog or any pet so much as nip or hiss at me. even animals that dislike PEOPLE, including their owners, tend to like me. it is not out of conceit for me to say this. it is simply something i have noticed. people just like me. and people who really know me tend to love me. i get more "i love yous" in a single day than you have probably received in one of your average years. i get more "i love yous" in a single day than you ever gave me, and certainly more than i was EVER willing to give you.
i guess that's a big one right there. if you don't WANT to tell someone you love them you probably don't.
anyway. i am exhausted and i'm going to take a nap. but i'm getting a second shot at life and that's fucking HUGE and a lot more than most people will ever get. so i just want to take a moment and thank the powers that be for helping me find someone who will help me, for my perserverance, for this opportunity, and for my many periods of seemingly unsurmountable grief. because in the end, with each hurdle i've jumped, i've left behind all the things and people who have been detrimental to ME, who have been there only to drag ME down, who are suckers of life and energy. at the time it may seem sad, but in retrospect, things seem to always work out for ME because i'm in the right. when you're in the wrong, i can PROMISE you that things will not turn out so well for you. hey look! they're already turning out pretty bad and things haven't even started getting bad yet! hehehe
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